annie says:

don't tell her what to do!

kindred spirit

did you know that there is a show on mtv called runs house?

yep, you guessed it, its all about rev. run from run dmc!

and i found out that he does alittle blog updating, unfortunately
not from an iphone, but from a blackberry.

still, as i watched him lying back in his huge as tub fulla bubbles infront
of a roaring fire i couldn't help but feel a connection to the fellow blogger.

if you want to sign up for his daily affirmations go here:

http://www.revrun.com

m.to frank. yo.

iword up!

yoyoyo

its been a minute huh? probably wondering where i've been. wellllll....
there was the holiday and a trip up north.

but also, that crazy drug dealer has been reaking havok on the streets again.

i had to kick some ass kevin bacon style.

plus, been practicing for the dance contest. of course.
meagan and i have that sweet dirty dancing lift, itll blow y'all away.

gotta run, i think i see that stuttering drug dealer out there.

mcfrank

j-12

get ready for the second annual national pre-choreographed dance competition!



(that is me in the corner!)

tell annie shes crazy...

annie has this crazy notion that she should really bike the 60 miles to thanksgiving tomorrow.

this would be her longest ride to date, and she'd be alone, but sticking to paths.

there is this pesky snow advisery that is in the back of her head, but shes super jealous of all her friends getting to have an orphan thanksgiving and this seems to be the best trade off she can think of. spending about five hours on some trails with just her ipod and camera.

so either shes crazy or she goes for it...
whatcha think?

mikefrank!

had to steal this...

it is just too good!

cred goes to brandon for finding/posting on the myspace.

MIKEFRANK!!!

Plumpy da Pimp

I try not to be jealous of my friend plumpy. i mean really, i've got everything a guy could ever want a smoking hot girlfriend, an iPhone, a successful blog, a smoking hot mom. . . but plumpy has it all. somehow he can eat all day and be totally fat but the girls still love him. he gets laid every night, sometimes by 2 or 3 chicks at a time. plus he doesn't work. he just lazes around Erin's house all day with her cats, takes naps, watches the Ellen show and reads his subscription to the wall street journal.

now that is the life.

Peace in the middle east,
MF

for realz thoh

moar funny pictures

sorry

to all my devoted fans out there, i am sorry for my absense. my iphone was out of commission. thankfully it was still under the 1 year warranty, but anyway i was without phone for about 5 days. total drag.

tonight i'm going to be doing some lunges and pushups in my backyard so if anyone wants to join, come on over. BYOC (bring your own creatine).

did i say of distaster?

i meant of master of the universe!!!

my new job!

mastersofdisasters

lunging

my friend erin has been talking about the benefits of lunging since i met her. i told her it was a fad and that i didn't care to partake, but as of late i have been doing a few lunges here and there. what a difference it has made! my ever tight hip flexors are stretched and my ass is as perky as that "UP all night" lady on that channel USA (is that still a channel).

thank you, erin. you are awesome.

MF

strange things...

1) girl with no arms smoking a cigarette and dialing her cell phone with her toes

2) bike mechanic missing the tip of his thumb due to a fix gear mishap

3) intoxicated vagarant rapping infront of annies doorway drinking from a grape fango two litter bottle making her late to work since she had to call 911

hmmm...

mike-letsgettheheckoutofchicagoanduptomilwaukee-frank

push through, yo!

sometimes you don't feel like blogging, you're kinda stuffy and you've been running around in this crazy wind chicago is having and you think, i don't really have
to go to the apple store, or stop at the coffee shop to use my iphone (which is my favorite place to use my iphone)

but then i think of you, my reader, that i can't let you down. that this gets you thru your day and i know that i have to share some wisdom...

like, you should always confirm what day you're supposed to race. i thought i raced on sunday, but it turned out the race was on saturday. so i missed it. and that was a total.bummer.

thank god i got to do that hot babe from goose island saturday night. it totally salvaged my day.

MIKE f.

hot babe

i totally boinked that hot babe from goose island on saturday night. it was awesome.

if anyone knows her name they should let me know, i forgot.

mf

hot babe

i saw this totally hot babe at goose island last night. i think i will buy her $240 worth of pudding.

((((((((()))))))))))))((((((((((((((())))))))))m(((((((())))))))f(((((((()))))))))

stuffy...

i feel kinda stuffy today kids. i think that i need to use the
old netti pot
to clear out some stuff.

if you haven't ever used the netti pot, its fantastic. sometimes
it gets sorta addictive and then you get a nose bleed. so you have
to be careful about that.

otherwise, fully endorsed, two thumbs up!

don't take it from just me, it was on oprah too.

mike frank

NOVEMBER RAIN

holy shit guys, we have switched into the fantastic month of november. i posted over 60 posts in the month of october, and i really think i need to step it up for november. i think i'll aim for 97 posts in november.

(miichaela)

ken wong

last night i went to the town hall pub for kate and rachel's halloween dance party featuring the rabbi dean ramos ramos. it was hot. meagan was pregnant and people kept giving her dirty looks. i started out as an expectant father and then it evolved into being captain communist.

ken wong was there. i totally frenched him in the photo booth while he was wearing a werewolf mask. it was hot. i take back the post about zombie apocolypse survivor sex probably being the best feeling ever, because frenching ken wong was totally hottt. i'm pretty sure it was because i kept feeling up inside his mask, caressing his sexxxy sexxxy sideburns. i told meagan i would not make out with ken wong at the messenger center today, but i was totally LIEing. i hope tom keeps sending me back his way so that we can go all the way today.


^^^^^^^^^^^^mike$$$$$$$$$$$$$$FRANK#####################################

but what about plumpy?

i know its been awhile since i've talked about my good friend plumpy.

you're probably all wondering what in the world hes gonna be for halloween, huh?

james bond? too obvious!

a werewolf? too hairy!

a vampire? too much blood!

hmm... plumpy better decide soon, halloween is almost over!

mfg

a song for you

halloween night circle to the right
circle to the right on halloween
keep that circle spinning 'round
time for a halloween ho down!

i sang that in music class during elementary school.

MF on the wall

i enjoy blogging in the comforts of my own home but realize when i'm out here on the streetz i've got to blog where it is comfortable even if it is on the lap of one of those semi-wretched prostitutes that i pay to french. so that is where i'm blogging from today, the lap of a whore.

MF

halloween is the best though. fer serious.

i wasn't feeling well saturday night so i missed the fun of being a wolverine and our russian communist with the gang. i hear they kinda missed me and they were all crazy awesome by the end of the night...


we were planning on hitting up a haunted house out in the burbs, but they are kinda pricey, and meagan doesn't really like them.

its okay though, maybe we'll go see 30 days of night at the ghetto 6 dollar movie theater instead. it could give me all sorts of good material the zombie sex role play game... hmmmm.....

WOLVERINES!!!!!!!!!!!(mikefrank)

penis and vagina.

zombie apocolypse survivor sex must be the most excellent feeling ever.

i think i am going to pay my neighbors to pretend that they are zombies. i will save meagan from the zombies and then we will get to have zombie apocolypse survivor sex.


sex. seks. seccs. cex. ceks.

++++++++++++++++++mike+++++++++++++++++++++frank++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

snap!

Inspiration within the blogspot!

FELLOWS WITH FRIENDLY UPPER LIPS


****MIKEFRANK****

hair cuttin' and new jeans

well, yesterday i watched over while my cool roomie james cut my friend erin's hair. it turned out most excellent, btw. they were kind enough to let me model my two new pairs of jeans for them as well. i think my butt looks great in them and i think they agreed.

i am blogging at the apple store but i am starving. i'm surprised there isn't a cafe in this place.

MF on the wall

girls who fall down are the best

meagan is known to fall down.
here is a pick of her with phalen and erin on the ground:



doesn't it look like fun?!

annie falls down too. i heard she fell down last night on milwaukee ave
while waving to michelle at myopic and not looking where she was going.

she skinned her knee, but usually she is a bruiser.

here is a pic of a bruise from a past bike fall:



lets here it for falling!

ikemay rankfay!

feline sex

is the coolest. meagan's cats humping is the best. you can buy my new book, kitty porn, next fall.






HOT PUSSY!

hot pants!

i dont really think you guys are friends. none of you have stole me underwear from mmmmerican uhpearl. come on what the hell? yo? any color size large. I AM SERIOUS. I NEED UNDERWEAR. YOU ARE NOT FRIENDS. YOU WOULD HAVE ALREADY STOLEN ME UNDERpants.

i prefer men's, but i'll take women's.


-MIKE FUCKING FRANK MC FUCKING GARRY

oh, and i am still moving. the post earlier was a lie.

erin dickey is the best

meagan is pretty great, but maxwell riordan has it real great. today, i left her a copy of my new book, road head, limited edition, autographed copy. hot tits, i am jealous.

um, why i love nyc.

just look at this

right around the corner

before you know it, christmas is going to be here!

you'd think it was already by the looks of the stores, macy's
is already designing their windows. its crazy!

anyway, i've started to put together a wish list on amazon, in case
you wanted to get me a little something something.

meagan and i will also have to put together a wedding registry soon!
how fun is that?

mike frank!!!

we've reconsidered

well, this fall off my bike has changed a few things inside of me (not that, I can still easily get it up). meagan and i have changed our minds about moving to Milwaukee. i realized that, although it would be cool to be back in my hometown it would make me feel bad about myself. i would desert so many people back in chicago and plus meagan and i have many engagements as prom king and queen that we can't very well attend to in Milwaukee. i told my cool friend erin about this when i saw her this afternoon. i believe she is making some oatmeal chocolate chip cookies to celebrate!

so here's to your prom king and queen staying right where they belong!!

MF

get 'em while you can

Well crap, after my little spill yesterday my publisher might be pulling my book. Since the move that I was performing on meagan was one of the big ones in my book they think that people might crash and then they will get sued. I told them that my friend erin works for a law firm, so we'll be fine because she knows how to work it. my publisher said she'd think about it. anyway, i have 15 copies at my house that i am selling for $150. if you want one, let me know. they may not be around much longer!

MF on the wall

get

hospital bloggin'

i bet you didn't know that the hospital has wifi. neither did, until i crashed last night when i was giving it to meagan from behind while she was riding on my bars. it sucks because i was on the verge of having the best orgasm ever. whatever, I dove between the ground and meagan to save her from another trip to the hospital. i'm the best. anyway, book signings are postponed for a few days due to my road rash and erection that has lasted over 24 hours. seriously.

food throwin IS a aaaallllllllllright

Geeze. I'm not sure that there is anything better in the whole world after giving and recieving hours and hours of road HEAD than going to a delicious restaurant and getting hot, hot rolls thrown at you.

On the way down to Memphis, I took a break from giving road head , noticed this sign for Lambert's Cafe, Home of the Throwed Rolls. I don't really want to ask my server to refill my bread, I would much rather just clap my hands, and have hot buns thrown at my face.

After eating assloads of hot, hot buns, I helped Meagan name her massage business. We decided on "Meagan's Magical NON-GENITAL Massage". I think she will be very successful when we move to Milwaukee with a business name like that.

So, just a reminder, $17.99 for my new book. I'll be there until 8p.m. tonight. Look out for my next book, "RIDE MY BARS, secrets to sex on a bicycle". It should be out next spring.


-MIKE FRANK!

MY NEW BOOK IS OUT!!!

Road head is the best. I spent the entire time on the road writing erotic poetry with a few pals. It's for sale for only $ 17.99! You can come and find me on Tuesdays and Saturdays at Rapid Transit, if interested in purchasing it. I'll be outside smoking, having monochramatic style, wearing a sweet shirt Meagan made me.

T.T.F.N.
-mike frank

watch out ladies, dan's gay cousin david, and the russell who married dan and tracie.

geeze guys. meagan made me this sweet new shirt! it is hot pink and says "MEAGAN'S BOYFRIEND. STAY AWAY!" and there is this adorable picture of her with a knife. oh me, oh my, that girl's the best!


she made one for herself that says "RAW BROCCOLI PARTY! HOLLAND HOTBOX ROADTRIP!!!".

road trip know how

as most of you already know, i am on route to memphis, tennessee, just east of the home of the west memphis three that you may have heard about. anywho, i've learned a lot on my road trip down south thus far. please take a look at the things i have learned. . .

1. iphones are awesome because you can blog from the car
2. meagan gives hickies on road trips
3. the home of the throwed rolls is awesome
4. the billboards on the interstate are empty 50% and the other 50% are so annoying that it is a wonder how they are still in business.
5. meagan carefully humps the front seat when she wants to let the driver know she needs a cigarette.
6. everybody likes the smell of my farts
7. chewing gum while i'm in the car gives me a headache
8. 20 questions always livens things up
9. plumpy is my favorite person to road trip with (miss you plumps!)
10. i have no idea how i'm going to be able to fit the cardboard cutout of elvis that i plan on buying at graceland in the car on the way home

heyyyyyy....

mike frank and meagan are on the road. they are going to memphis for
a wedding (at stack records!) which is cool. i wish i was going.

oh heyyyy, this is andrew. i'm here to tell you that french toast is the
best. you should put flax seed and strawberries on it.

i recommend that you eat it everyday for breakfast.

it gives you carbs for energy. its the best.

see ya,
andrew
(not mike frank)

writers block

i don't have any words of wisdom today, so instead enjoy these daily webcomicstrips that i check out daily.



nataliedee.com




marriedtothesea.com

missed connection

ah ha! i got a missed connection yesterday. if you would like to read it click here. She called me an enchanting male and commented on how I match my shirt with my strawberry blond hair which is very true. I try to always do that. I also try to match my toenail polish to my ensemble.

missed connection, check it!

MF

we like babies!

especially when they are someone elses baby and this cute:



here is a threlkeld family portrait:


baby,aunt, and dad.

so hank stranger is to be the community baby. once we get that farm he'll be there
for permanent and we can all raise him together. it takes a community. a village. a cult, er, gathering of people to raise a child properly.

keep him in cute onesies and away from hippie bullsh*t!

i'm off to the free clinic, i should see you down there. really.

we'll put him on that show with bill cosby

today i get to meet meagan's nephew -hank stranger.

babies do alot of things that are pretty annoying, cry, lots of eating, pooping, etc.

but then they do something like, oh, growl and then laugh at themselves growling!!!
(i haven't seen it yet, but it still cracks me up!)

makes all the annoying stuff worthwhile. especially if you can meet the coz! with jello, and the pudding, and wha wha wha.

mike, frank is a cool middle name but not as cool as stranger, frank.

be healthy my friends.

CCU and britt have been working to bring health services to the streets for messengers in Chicago
If you are a messenger, there will be free health screenings, HIV/STD and discounted dental services

Tuesday October 16, 2007
Michigan and Balbo
10-1
tell people
be there
it's free
it's for you

britt and (you guessed it)

MIKE FRANK

turtle neck sweaters from the gap!

today, meagan got me a baby blue women's turtle neck sweater from the gap. i look fucking hot. i hope that i get to see all my friends today at brit and ben's dinner party while wearing my sweet turtle neck. seeing myself in the mirror today, wearing this turtle neck, inspired me to start a new website, www.turtlesandfranks.com, where i plan on selling turtle necks that i have worn and sexxxy portaits of myself in turtle necks on bear rugs without pants.

ta ta for now.
-mike frank!

party!!!

hey there. i had lots o options tonight. i mean its friday night yo. i'm at a kickin party for my friend cesar (hes gonna be the cuban commie to my russian commie)...

just a quick shout out, to all i won't see tonight, be good kids.

xo
mike frank.

plumpy gets all the chicks

so, you know how I said that i missed ben affleck? well, it turns out my so called bff plumpy didn't tell me that he was invited to the after party that ben was at. jerk. turns out jenny lopez was there because she was tired of that weirdo husband of hers and wanted to get back with ben affleck. well ben was married and what not so he told jenny lo to get lost and guess who was there to pick up the pieces?? PLUMPY! yeah, and he knows i've been wanting to french jenny lo for ever. life sucks, i'm listening to blondie.

december 11th!

when me and meagan move to milwaukee, i think i might ask her to teach me how to do alternative photographic processes. maybe when you come to visit, we can make a family portraits.



this is meagan on her wedding day.

Strange...

Isn't it wierd when you find a photo of yourself on the the internet that you don't remember having been taken?

As Thom Waits says, strange weather indeed!

Mike Frank out, yo!

taken a dump

well here i am at the apple store. thank god!! i haven't been here enough today. the last time tom routed me here i had to take a massive dump so instead of blogging i went over to starbucks and took a crap. you've got to do what you've got to do but i really wanted to get out there and blog.

anyway, i read something interesting in the newspaper while i was on the john. ben affleck was in town last night. why the heck didn't anyone tell me? I guess Plumpy was there.

figures.

switchin it up!

i am totally sick of the michigan avenue apple store, so today i went all the way out to woodfield mall to do some blogging. i stopped by ikea and ate some swedish meatballs. did you know that they sell beer there?  next time i'm going to sneak in a six pack.

-mike frank!

why william elliot whitmore should marry annie...

first off, shes awesome. as if you didn't know.
shes apart of an awesome trouple.
she plays the autoharp and loves carter family. they would look really cute together
sittin' on the front porch... and she could teach him the words to plastic jesus.

william elliot whitmore is also awesome. he plays the guitar, banjo, and harmonica.
he can take 10+ shots of whiskey and still recall that paul newman sings plastic jesus
in cool hand look. he has some great beard scruff and an awesome voice.

hence they should get married.

i said, it shall be done!
mike f'ing frank!

wolverines!!! (picture of me with fist in air)

(here is the viewing party before i arrived. cesar, heidi, annie, i forget that kids name, meagan!)


(those wolverines think they are sooo cool.)


(note jennifer grey in the background, you fall in love you die people. for real)


(just picture me and cesar in this scene)

these are from the awesome viewing of RED DAWN annie had in her backyard this summer.

i love patrick swayze and jennifer grey together. this is the only other movie beside dirty dancing that it happens, its just such a shame. together they really are a force to be reckoned with.

mike (the communist) frank.

My friends are great!

OMG! Did you guys know that Maxwell Riordan (the person) has a band? I found this video of him singing a delightful tune. He got Erin, Annie, Phelan, and Meagan to be dancers for the video. My friends are the best!



-Miguel Fransisco McGarcia

Documentary on my life!!!

Catch 35 update

Yowzers! Plumpy and I had dinner the other night at Catch 35. Everything went awesome. As planned, we picked up some totally hot babes from Leo Burnett. I can't wait to see them again.



This is Ashley and Vanessa. They let Plumpy ride with them on their hot ride, while i skitched all the way back to their home.

Queen Meagan the Destroyer

hey! i bet you didn't know that before meagan was queen, she was a world famous oceanographer.

my best friend tom!

this is a picture os my new b.f.f. (that's best friends forever) tom. he is just the bestest friend a guy could ever have. sometimes him and katie come over at three in the morning and we shotgun beers in my backyard. i can't wait until we go to memphis next weekend. right now he has midterms and i just don't get to spend enough time with him. i really hope that we get to take photo booth pictures in memphis. i secretly want to hold his hand in them. no one will see that we are holding hands, but everytime i look at those photos, i'll know, and that's all that is really important.



-MIKE FRANK!

my favorite song!!!

PUMP UP THE VOLUME!!!

tips on shotgun-ing beer...

1) don't shotgun in public, its gross. confine it to a backyard, the shower, or the tub.
or i guess, if a bar is really going to let you shotgun a beer, you can do it there.

oh, wtf, shotgun anywhere you damn well please. its beer!

2) the bigger the hole, the quicker the gun-ing.

3) its funner with a friend. especially in the shower.

4) from one of my new bffs, joey, get a beebee gun and put a hole in a bottle of beer! this is a
whole new world! just spit out the beebee at the end. think of it like the worm at the end of the bottle of tequila. (warning, this hasn't been tested yet. try at your own risk)

5) i'm mike frank!

MILWAUKEE RULZ THE HOUSE

Milwaukee is not a suburb of Chicago, it is a whole city on it's own. They even have their own Art Museum designed by renowned European architect Sanderson Calatravo. The fact that I even have to point this out to you people is just bogus. Seriously -read an encyclopedia once in a while.

Carl Markx and organized sports are also awesome. But not as awesome as Milwaukee. Booyah!

MFG out, yo.

the new company

i've decided to get into womens fashion, mainly leggings.

here is megan modeling a pair of what i believe will be a best seller:




it doesn't get much better than this, seeing your gal, in these leggings, with a hamms golden draft in her hand.

thats alllllright...

ummmmm.....

vanilla cremes and hamms golden draft. i feel like a king. oh wait. i am a king.
mike the benevelent (prom) king.

but back to the hamms and vanilla cremes. no better use of 5 dollas in the world.
hamms-union made since 1865 in the homeland (milwaukee wi) and vanilla cremes,
produced by the little dutch maid in texas, with sabor artificial.

two great tastes that taste great together.

have i mentioned feelin' good all the time?

snuff is gross. total.

parenting advice

it is not wise to name your child jaime because it sounds a lot like hymen. in the unfortunate event one is named jaime, they are likely to be teased often.

-MIKE FRANK!

feelin' good all the time

hey kids,

did you know that i am named after a singer?

check him out, were related, you can tell by the facial hair.

plus, hes smoothhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. just like me!

cheers,

mike frank.

throw it down to the ground cuz its dangerous

i have dance moves, some of the best! i'm not prom king for nothin' yo.

i'm developing a new move that is gonna show off just how dangerous on the dance floor i am.

its pretty top secret right now, but if you ask nicely when you see me, i'll share a sampling with you.

you might have to ask me a couple of times, be persistent, it'll happen.

trapper keeper purchasing

as many of you may know ive been wanting to go back to school. do you know the real reason though?

i want a trapper keeper! preferably one with a star wars theme.

the only thing i really have to complain about regarding the trapper keeper is that flimsy pad of paper they give you in the back. its not nearly enough for my note writing needs.

that should be reworked, otherwise, its perfect.

jam on it.

MEAGAN IS THE HOTTEST

She is still a babe even wearing a trash bag. Meagan is total babe, way hotter than Lisa Bonet.



Look at how cute she is here!

blogging as a stress reliver

last week there were about 50 different words to describe my life. lemme give you a few. . .hectic, outta control, stressed, maxed out (and that is only 4!). that's why i started this little blog o mine. it's stressful out here on the streets, but now that tom knows he should dispatch me towards the apple store i am much happier. i know that in an hour or two i'll be blogging. so as i finish this post let me tell you how i'm feelin' now . . . . calm, serene, loving, high, hippie-like and flexible. ain't that better?

don't let the man bring you down

sometimes when i'm bogged down with all these reports to deliver, i just have to remember that at any moment i could be racing one of my other bike messenger friends.

or theres those times when we hang out infront of dispatch to do tricks.

i'm hoping they'll do some of them will do guest blogs when we take breaks at the coffeeshop or drop into the apple store.

My Pal Plumpy

Hey Dudes and Dudettes,

It has been a couple hours since my last post because I'm working . . .duh. It's busy out here on the streets but I just keep thinking about my BFF Plumpy (pic to da right) who I am hanging out with later tonight. He is righteous and I can't quite understand why my fly girlfriend doesn't like him. Anywho, were meeting at Catch 35 for dinner (Plumpy's fav). Good food plus I might get to hook up with one of those hot advertising chicks up at Leo Burnett.

Laters, Mike Frank

gettin' dirty

can you find me?

I'm at the apple store!

BLOGGING!

i thought going green was the new black?

atleast according to my hero, tyra banks, thats why antm is totally environmentally concious this cycle. she does so much good for the world, no wonder shes my hero.

i love you tube!!!

sidewalk chalk is totally out

blogging is the new black.